When Your Adult Child Is Breaking Your Heart

A Special Friday Q&A (05.30.25)

A Personal Note:

Dear friends,

Welcome to our Friday Q&A. Today’s edition is a little different from our usual format. I am making this available to both paid and free subscribers because this is such an important issue. I encourage you to share this with anyone you know who needs to hear this message.

Typically, I select one question from an individual for Friday Q&A and provide a personal response. However, there is one question and one prayer request that cross my desk more frequently than any other—parents asking how to witness to their adult children or asking us to pray for adult children who have walked away from their faith. In fact, I received three requests like that just today!

This concern weighs heavily on so many hearts in our community that I felt led to address it more broadly today. Rather than responding to just one person’s question, I want to speak to the hundreds of you who have written to us with this same heartache. Consequently, today’s article is longer than most Friday Q&As. I want to make sure I give a full heartfelt response to many brokenhearted parents and grandparents.

If you’re a parent or grandparent with an adult child who has drifted from their spiritual foundations, please know that you are not alone. The message that follows comes from my heart to yours, offering both biblical wisdom and practical encouragement for this painful journey. And, as always, we are honored to lift up your child before the Lord here at Tipping Point.

Finally, if you are one of those parents or grandparents who have adult children faithfully serving Jesus, I want to challenge you—you are not lucky—you are supernaturally blessed. First, thank God again and again for the mercy and grace He has shown you and your child. Then, start praying in earnest for the adult children represented by the prayers and tears of so many others in our Tipping Point family. Pray and keep on praying until Jesus comes again.

In His service,

Jimmy Evans

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The Enduring Power of Prayer

At endtimes.com, no prayer request comes across my desk more frequently than this one: “Please pray for my child who has walked away from the Lord.” The pain in these messages is palpable—the spiritual well-being of our children matters more to us than perhaps anything else. When they reject what we hold most dear, it truly breaks our hearts.

As signs of Jesus’ return grow more evident, this heartache often intensifies. Parents wonder, Will my child be ready? Have I failed them spiritually? Will they be left behind? Today, I want to speak directly to those carrying this heavy burden and offer both comfort and practical wisdom—along with a profound truth that should transform how you think about your prayers.

Someone Prayed for You

Before we address the various faces of spiritual distance or discuss healing past wounds, I want you to grasp a life-changing reality: If you have been saved, it’s because someone somewhere prayed for you.

I once heard Pastor Jack Hayford share this profound truth in his teaching on intercessory prayer. The concept is both humbling and encouraging—that our salvation is often the result of faithful saints who stood in the gap for us in prayer, sometimes people we may never even know this side of Heaven.

John Wesley understood this principle when he declared: “God does nothing except in response to believing prayer.” And as evangelist Samuel D. Gordon wisely observed: “Prayer strikes the winning blow; service is simply picking up the pieces.” That means the real spiritual work of salvation often happens through intercession before the actual moment of conversion.

It also means your faithful prayers for your children are not wishful thinking—they are powerful weapons in the spiritual battle for their souls. And here’s the most encouraging truth of all: your prayers don’t die when you do.

When Prayers Outlive the One Who Prayed

Consider the remarkable story of E.M. Bounds, the 19th-century Georgia preacher famous for his writings on prayer. Bounds didn’t just write about prayer—he lived it. Rising at 4 AM (later 3 AM) to pray until breakfast at 7 AM, he faithfully interceded for his children daily.

Bounds taught these essential principles that every parent should embrace:

• Prayer is essential—It’s a crucial means of seeking God’s intervention in our children’s salvation

• Salvation is not automatic—It’s not guaranteed based on good parenting alone but requires faith and prayer

• Parents must live out their faith—We must demonstrate our faith in ways that encourage our children to follow Christ

• Intercession is key—We must pray persistently and fervently, recognizing God’s role in their spiritual journey

• God is sovereign—Salvation ultimately rests with God, and we should trust in His grace and faithfulness

Yet despite being raised by one of the most prayer-focused ministers of his era, Bounds’ own son Osborne reached age 84 still uncertain of his salvation. When Rev. Marion Price asked if he was saved, the elderly man replied, “Oh, I don’t know. I hope so, but I’m not sure.”

Price felt burdened to pray for Osborne Bounds, enlisting 12 ministers to join him in intercession. Eventually, during what would be their final visit when Osborne was bedridden, Price led him to faith in Christ.

The profound lesson? God is not limited to my lifetime or yours. Sixty-three years after we die, He can send a simple gospel witness to speak to those for whom we have prayed. E.M. Bounds’ faithful prayers for his son were answered more than six decades after his death!

The Many Faces of Spiritual Distance

Understanding that your prayers have enduring power should give you hope as you face whatever form of spiritual separation your child displays. Some adult children haven’t abandoned Christianity entirely but have embraced a different expression of faith than yours. They still trust Jesus as Savior and Lord but differ on worship styles or secondary doctrines. In these cases, celebrate the essential unity you share in Christ while giving grace in the differences.

For others, the situation is more concerning. Your child may have completely rejected faith or perhaps never truly embraced it. Some have adopted belief systems hostile to Christianity, while others have simply drifted into a life where God seems irrelevant.

Some parents face an additional layer of complexity—they came to faith after their children were grown. Remember that it’s never too late to be an example to your adult children and to influence their lives by your own testimony and prayers for them.

Healing the Past to Move Forward

“Where did we go wrong?” This question haunts many parents. The painful truth is that while some adult children reject faith despite exemplary parenting, others were indeed wounded by our mistakes.

Perhaps you were too rigid, emphasizing rules over relationship. Maybe your faith seemed hollow because private behavior didn’t match public profession. If the Holy Spirit brings specific failures to mind, take the courageous step of acknowledging them to your child. A simple, heartfelt “I’m sorry for the ways I failed you spiritually” can begin healing old wounds.

Then—and this is crucial—forgive yourself. Carrying guilt only paralyzes your prayers and your current influence. The God who specializes in redemption can work through your imperfect parenting and even use your admitted failures as a testimony.

Preserving the Relationship While You Pray

The most devastating mistake I see parents make is allowing their adult child’s spiritual choices to damage the relationship itself. Your relationship is your most powerful platform for influence. Jesus sought relationships with those who disagreed with Him—He dined with tax collectors and sinners while maintaining His own integrity.

Maintaining genuine connection means continuing to show interest in their lives beyond spiritual matters. It means creating space where they feel loved unconditionally, not constantly reminded of your disappointment. Find values you still share that can serve as bridges.

When appropriate, share vulnerably about your own faith journey, including your doubts and questions. Many young adults believe Christians never struggle with faith. Your authenticity may open doors that your silence kept closed.

Understanding Our Times

The Bible tells us that in the last days, many will fall away from the faith. Paul warned Timothy that “in the last days there will be very difficult times” (2 Timothy 3:1 NLT).

We’re living in an age when biblical values are openly mocked. Our adult children face unprecedented spiritual opposition. Understanding this context will help you recognize that your family’s struggle is part of a larger spiritual battle.

This awareness should drive us not to panic but to prayer. As signs of Christ’s return accelerate, channel your concern into fervent intercession rather than anxious pressure. To intercede means to stand in the gap for someone. It means our faith becomes a bridge between God and those we love.

Patient Prayer That Transcends Time

When communication is strained or broken, prayer becomes your most powerful tool—and it’s a tool that doesn’t require your presence to continue working. Pray for God to send authentic believers who will represent Christ well to your adult child. Pray for protection from deception and for the Holy Spirit to bring gentle conviction. Pray that circumstances will reveal your adult child’s need for God.

The Parable of the Prodigal Son offers the model for how you can respond. The father didn’t chase his son into the far country or send messages of condemnation. He waited with dignity and hope, scanning the horizon daily. When that day finally came, he ran to embrace his son with celebration, not criticism.

In these last days, maintain this posture of patient expectation. The same God who drew you to Himself loves your children. Sometimes the wait is long—sometimes longer than our earthly lives. But the Bible assures us: “The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance” (2 Peter 3:9 NKJV).

Your faithful prayers create a spiritual inheritance that transcends death itself. God will raise up others to continue the work you began through prayer, just as He did for E.M. Bounds’ son sixty-three years later. Just as someone prayed for your salvation before you came to faith, God will orchestrate prayers for your children across time and generations.

A Parent’s Prayer for Enduring Hope

As we close, I want to share a prayer you can start with as you intercede regularly for your adult child.

Dear Father,

I bring my precious child before Your Throne of Grace today. Your love for them goes far beyond even my love.

Lord, I acknowledge where I’ve fallen short as a parent. Forgive me for the anxiety that grips my heart and leads me to try controlling what only You can. I release my child into Your capable hands, trusting Your perfect work in their life.

Father, I thank You that someone prayed for my salvation before I came to faith. I’m treasured by the truth that You raised up prayer warriors to stand in the gap for me. Now I ask You to do the same for my child.

I believe my prayers for my child don’t die when I do. Like E.M. Bounds’ prayers that were answered sixty-three years after his death, I trust that You will honor every prayer I’ve prayed and every prayer I will continue to pray. As John Wesley said, You do nothing except in response to believing prayer.

Send people who will authentically represent Your heart to my child, even if it’s long after I’m gone. Shield them from those who would distort Your character. Remove the spiritual blindness that prevents them from seeing truth. Let my faithful intercession become part of their spiritual inheritance.

Fill my words with grace and wisdom while I’m here. Help me love unconditionally while standing firmly in truth. Restore what the enemy has stolen from our relationship.

I rest in Your promises today, believing for my household’s salvation. Like the father of the prodigal, I watch expectantly for my child’s return to You. And I trust that even beyond my earthly life, You will continue to honor the prayers I’ve lifted for their soul.

In Jesus’ name, Amen.

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Remember: Your faithful prayers create a spiritual legacy that outlasts your lifetime. God is not limited by death, time, or circumstance. Someone prayed for your salvation—now you carry that torch forward through your intercession for the next generation. Trust Him with your child’s future, knowing that every prayer you’ve prayed in faith becomes part of their eternal inheritance.

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